We Were Children - Contest Entry

ranmafan · July 22nd, 2008, 12:08 PM

The Big Ol' #2 coming up. This one's slightly more lighthearted, with a happier ending than 32 Hours. I thought it'd be more fun to write.

MyNameDidntFit · July 23rd, 2008, 07:58 AM

Another great story here, not near as good as your other but still great.

You've definitely got a way with the 1st person viewpoint

ranmafan · July 23rd, 2008, 08:45 AM

Haha thanks! Yeah, I need some inspiration to write the good ones.

Guess I'll see if anything smacks me in the face with a dismembered leg in the near future. We've got till October 31st right?

MyNameDidntFit · July 23rd, 2008, 09:13 AM

Yep, Halloween.

Make sure none of the blood from the leg gets in your eyes, never know whether you're immune or not

ranmafan · July 23rd, 2008, 09:41 AM

No worries, ah' got goggles like mah' pic.

GothicDeathVR2 · July 23rd, 2008, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by MyNameDidntFit

You've definitely got a way with the 1st person viewpoint

HAHA! I see a Champion in the midst.
ranmafan. PREPARE. FOR. FIRST PERSON. STORY-MATCH!

FPS-MATCH!!!

Anyways, I think its aight. Not as good as the 32 Hour one though. I felt that the guy was way too immature, all the "dude"s were a problem, fairly difficult to tell between thought and talk, and I didn't really feel much heart between the sister and brother. It wasn't very emotional driven. Almost as a matter of fact like. 32 Hours is clearly your better story.

ranmafan · July 24th, 2008, 12:27 PM

That's cool. I'll go take a break and come back with more inspiration. It was hard trying to get into the head of a personality I've no experience with.

Thanks for the comments again. I'll probably go pick up The Walking Dead for inspiration.